Save 1 With Every Run 2013 Conclusion and What I've Learned From Running

The goal was 100 runs and 100 prayers.  One prayer for every run - for freedom from trafficking and a life of slavery and forced prostitution for a child.

What I thought was going to be a solitary goal turned into a community goal.  The response I received when I announced my goal, and those who wanted to join in, was so beautiful to me.  People wanted to use their time running to pray for those who can't run because they don't have the freedom to.

What I hoped would be 100 prayers turned into 1229 prayers.  1229!!  That is amazing!!

I believe with all my heart that God has honored or will honor those prayers.  That He will set one free for every run and every prayer prayed.

I have been privileged to see our Save 1 runners post the experiences they have had this past year while participating in this campaign.  Some have felt God's presence in new and wonderful ways.  Others have rejoiced in reading news articles of freedom and healing from trafficking.  It has been amazing.

2013 was the first full year I ran.  I have learned so much through the experience of running.  It has come to symbolize the most joyous and frustrating times and processes in my life. 

Feeling the daunting, "there is no way I'm going to get through this" feeling of climbing a hill when I just would rather lay down on the road and take a nap.  The excitement of wondering what is over the next hill in new and unfamiliar, yet beautiful territory.  The misery of feeling like I'm behind and that everyone else is running faster or further than me.  The contentment of not caring anymore, but just enjoying being outside and the goals God has set for me; not worrying about other goals that others may or may not set for me.  And the feeling of absolute victory for accomplishing a new goal - running just a bit further or faster than before - or simply being content with the run no matter what my "stats" were.

I have found my play list to be more than ironic at times.  Like the times I've been climbing a hill and the lyrics of a song came up that say, "Just ask the hill to move and it will move."  I'm here to tell you I have faith smaller than a mustard seed because that hill did not move.  It remains where it is no matter how many times I hear that song while climbing up it and no matter how many times I declare it to move.  Other ironic lyrics when trying to run include, "I just want to slow down" (thank you Third Day) or "stop running" (Kerry Roberts). 

This past year has been such a gift to me.  The time spent in praise of God, as I listen to music has been new for me.  I am so grateful for that.  I believe that through this experience, He has given me an opportunity to learn more about life and how it works and what He is able to do through me in it, if I keep pressing on.

I think this is what it means when He says that He will give beyond our sacrifice.  Running isn't a lot of a sacrifice, really, but there were LOTS of days (almost every one), that I didn't want to go out for one reason or another.  But, I went because I wanted to pray for one more girl.  I believe He heard those prayers and not only answered them, but spent that time running alongside me, teaching me and filling me in unexpected ways.  That is the blessing I didn't anticipate.

So, I'm thankful.  Thank you to all of you who joined me in this campaign this year.  I don't have a set goal in 2014 except to keep running.  I hope Save 1 With Every Run continues and I hope you'll join me.  Here's where you can find more info if you're interested.

Here's to freedom in 2014 - and so many thanks for all those wonderful 1229 prayers that were prayed in 2013.   




**Very special thanks to the talented Christie Lee for her beautiful work designing our logo.  Thank you, Christie!!

The Letter of Persuasion

We have a prayer list that we update, as a family, every week.  We started doing this almost 2 months ago.

We entered IBESR, Haiti's social services department, with our adoption dossier on September 14.  And we've been waiting for an update since.

We have been praying to get out of IBESR since we started our list (and the months before that, too).  This week we changed that request and started praying that President Martelly (the President of Haiti) would sign our paperwork because there wasn't any way we were going to get out of IBESR without that.  You see, we need presidential dispensation (permission) to adopt our Little Guy because we have biological children.

Yesterday I stopped in at our kiddos' school and talked to Girly Girl's teacher.  She said, "Oh, I need to show you something!  You are going to cry."

I'm not a real softie and already putting my disclaimer out so she wouldn't think I was a bad mom, said, "I don't cry easily."

She told me that in class, the kids have been writing persuasion letters.  They had to pick something they wanted and then determine how to ask for that thing and who needed to be asked.

She started reading.....

"Dear President of Haiti,

Please sign our adoption papers.  My little brother really needs to be out of the orphanage and come home to us.  He needs more space to run and play.  And my big brother has wanted a little brother for such a long time.  We have been praying for a very long time.  Will you please sign our papers?"

I cried.  And so did the teacher.  She told me that originally Girly Girl had addressed the letter to the Director of IBESR, but went in on Monday to tell her that she had to change it to President Martelly.

Our kids have been in this with us from the beginning.  They have been praying along side us for over a year now, since before we officially started the process of adoption.  The last few weeks in church they have been learning about waiting and have shared that with us.  That God is faithful in the wait.

I went home and one of the first things I do is check my email.  I checked it and there was an email from our agency with the subject line, "IBESR".

I opened it up and it said, 

"CONGRATULATIONS—today we got word that your dossier was released from IBESR!"

Our cat likes to greet us when we come in the door and was the only living thing with me when I saw that email.  I just screamed at the computer and started jumping up and down.  And she took off running, claws scraping the floor.  I terrified her.  :)

I called the school and asked for Girly Girl's teacher.  I told her we had gotten out of IBESR and asked her if we could come in and tell Girly Girl at school with her.  She excitedly agreed.

We went in and met the teacher and she took us to Girly Girl's last class.  I thought she was going to pull her into the hallway, but she asked us to come in.  Girly Girl had no idea what was going on.

I knelt down and told her that I had seen her beautiful letter to the President of Haiti and how proud I was of her for writing it.  And I said, "I just want to show you want his signature looks like."  I showed her the paper we had been given and told her that our papers were out.  We are out!!!  

She started crying.  Big old crocodile tears.  The teachers were crying.  We were crying.  And her fellow classmates were nervous.  "Why is she crying??"  

"Happy tears", her teacher said.  "Happy tears."  So happy. 

We left and grabbed the other two kiddos, who Girly Girl told right away.  :)  We were able to share the news with their teachers and our small group who know just about as much about this process as we do now and we went out for ice cream to celebrate.

It was just so wonderful.

We are so very thankful to be out of this step!!  The next step will last anywhere from several weeks to several months.  At the end of that, our little guy will be officially a member of our family in Haiti.  I am so excited for that day.  

But, right now, I am so joyful.  I'm joyful because this has given us hope.  We feel encouraged and like we've been given new life for this process.  We are so excited to share this with all of you who are with us in this journey, praying, watching and supporting.  We have needed that so many times in the last 8 months and will continue to need it in the months to come.

We are hopeful that our Little Guy will be home with us sometime in the next year.  It could be longer.  It could be shorter.  We just need to keep waiting.

So, eat some ice cream in celebration with us tonight!  :)

Love to you all,
Karyn

7 Months

7 months.  It really isn't that long, but tonight it feels like an eternity.

My mind is filled with question marks tonight.

There seem to be many people around us in a holding pattern - not really knowing what God is doing, what His plan is or even what is next.  There is a glimmer of what the future might hold but no time frame whatsoever.

We're with them.

Yesterday was 7 months that we've been in IBESR.  Families that went in to that step before us are out.  Families that went in the same day as us are out.  Families that went in after us are out.  But, we're still there.  And we have no idea how long we are going to be there.

I'm incredibly discouraged tonight and would very much appreciate your prayers. 

Our little guy has an important meeting this week.  I have to be vague there, but please be praying for him (and us) this week.

Thank you, friends.

As Long As It's Not Haiti

It's funny how you end up doing things you said you'd never do.

When we started considering adoption, I very much wanted to adopt from Haiti.  It was the only country I felt led toward adopting from.

But, then I began to learn about how painful it is to adopt from Haiti.  How it takes, on average, 2.5 years to complete the process, how most of the children have birth parents who are alive and simply can't provide for them, and how difficult the process is because of lack of communication and other issues third world countries experience.  And I made the decision we would not adopt from Haiti.

I wanted something simpler.  More concrete.

It took us almost 4 months to make the decision to adopt.  March 3, 2012 we decided to move forward, but we hadn't decided on where to adopt from yet.  My husband had a mission trip to the Dominican Republic planned for later that month and we felt like we had to wait until after that trip to decide.  We went to this website to see what countries we qualified for and we started narrowing them down.  Surprisingly, there were many countries that were automatically knocked out because our family didn't meet their rules.

We narrowed it down to 6 countries - Ethiopia, Bulgaria, India, United States, Congo and China.  And we decided to fast (give up something and spend concentrated time in prayer in place of that something).  Handsome fasted American food while he was in the DR.  I fasted dessert.  It was painful.  :)

During his trip to the DR, Husband met a sweet boy who had been abandoned by his mother, in a Haitian refugee camp.  We longed to adopt him and started doing our research.  We quickly learned, however, that it was completely impossible to adopt him.  We were heartbroken.

Through that experience and what we learned in it, we decided to eliminate all countries except Congo.  And we added in Haiti.

I kept pushing for Congo.  I searched and searched for blogs for people who had adopted from the Congo.  We couldn't find anyone who would answer our emails.  We couldn't join any forums.  It was just impossible to find information.  We called a couple of agencies, but you know when people tell you things in one conversation and then say something different in other conversations?  Well....that.

After a couple of weeks of indecisiveness, we decided to fast again.

A year ago today, I was sitting at my desk in our office and Husband came in from work, looked at me and said, simply, "Haiti."

Haiti.

April 4, 2012 it was decided.  Since then, we have been matched with a little boy in Haiti.  We have met that little boy and we absolutely love him. 

The reasons I didn't want to adopt from Haiti still exist.  We have been in this step of our adoption (IBESR) for nearly 7 months.  I thought that when we got to this part I would feel excited because we had gotten this far.  Instead, it seems the longer we keep going, the longer it feels like it's going to take.  But, I am grateful we are adopting from Haiti and I'm finding beauty in it, even though I'm living through the very reasons I didn't want to adopt from there in the first place.  And Haiti is where our Little Guy is; I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

The Feeling of Redemption

Have you ever seen something redeemed?  Watched a struggle unfold into victory?

A dear friend and her husband are bringing their children home soon.  The pain inside them is incredible as they wait, but from the outside, I know it will be soon.  And it will be amazing to see the victory of them welcoming their children home.

Two other friends are beginning the very hard work of starting to share their stories - stories buried deep in the past, but needing to come out for healing to occur.  It makes me ache to hear their stories.  I want the pain to stop.  But through their stories, that I didn't know even years after knowing them, those friends are even more beautiful to me than they were before.

I feel like I'm getting to stand on the sidelines and cheer right now.  I get to cheer for their redemption.  Because as orphans come home and people heal, redemption occurs.  What Satan meant for harm, God meant for good and I have the privelege of getting to see the GOOD.  His GOOD purpose is so beautifully exciting to watch.

Thank you for the honor of walking alongside these people, Father.  I am so grateful.

Dear Little Guy

I'm writing this publicly, I suppose, so you can see a glimpse of our hearts and what adopting our Little Guy feels like to me.....

Dear Little Guy,

As the time approaches to meet you I am filled with anticipation and excitement.  I wonder what it will be like.  What will it be like to catch our first glimpse of you as they bring you out to us?  What will it be like to kiss your head?  What will your face feel like?  How long will your fingers be?  What will you sound like? 

This week we received 2 more pictures of you.  The one picture was of you sleeping and I wasn't sure it was you.  I had to zoom in to your picture to look at your fingers and compare them with our other pictures to know for sure.  You have an umbilical hernia.  I think that's okay, but it left me with some worry.  The other picture was of you in a bouncy seat.  It was just of your chest up, but you were clearly not happy.  Sucking your thumb, eyebrows furrowed, other hand open and behind your head.  You wanted OUT of that thing and I wish I could have reached through and picked you up out of that chair.  I can't wait to be the one to comfort and take care of you.  I can't wait for you to know that you will be picked up and not be set aside because there are 20 other kids in the same room to take care of.  I can't wait to just be with and take care of you for a week - and then beyond.

At the same time, I wonder how you will feel about us.

Will we have brought the right sized clothes?  Will you be afraid of us?  Will you sleep?  Will you understand anything during our time together?  How will you feel about us leaving you?  Will that hurt you?

So many questions and I am left to simply wonder about them for now.  But, we are doing things to get ready.

I made you a book this week called, "All About My Family".  In it I basically introduce you to us - our family, our home, our interests.  And I try to communicate to you how very much you are wanted.

Mr. Man can't wait to have another boy in the house to play with.

Girly Girl can't wait to color with and draw with you.

Little Miss can't wait to teach you and take care of you. 

We all love you so much already.  I'm worried about Little Miss because she keeps thinking we are going to go to Haiti to bring you home.  How I wish that were true!  I am trying to communicate to her that we are visiting you and that we would bring you home if we could, but we just can't right now.  I'm hoping there will be a way for you to interact all together while we're with you.

Just a few more weeks until we get to see your sweet face in person. We are beyond blessed to have this privilege. 

Love,
Mommy

Why Facebook Is Bad For Me

A friend of mine and I were having a conversation last week about "screen time".  How it sucks time, and therefore life, away from you before you even realize it.  I told her of another friend of mine who said that a study showed that people actually feel worse about themselves after they spend time on Facebook.

I believe it.

Facebook is bad for me.

Now, to start off with my disclaimer, there are many things I enjoy about Facebook.  I enjoy being even minimally connected to people who I have shared life with along the way that I no longer live close to.  And I'm pretty sure the business wouldn't have survived the first two years without it.  Even now, it is my primary means of advertising, for free, thank you very much.  I also think that the support gained through groups and prayers of hundreds is incredible.

But.....when I look at Facebook, my world becomes bigger and at the same time smaller in ways it doesn't necessarily need to be.  I see people moving ahead with their businesses, adoptions and friendships.  I see who they are with and where they are.  Their kids and homes look perfect.  They have hundreds of friends.  Their kids are in a million different activities and getting straight A's.  I see like minded businesses with thousands of fans.

In the meantime, I feel lonely because I'm a natural introvert and while I like a lot of time to myself and having a few close friends, there is a lot of me that really wants to have a lot of friends and look like everyone else looks on Facebook.  When I finish "catching up for the day", I feel like such a loser when I'm done exploring because that is where my heart has been for at least the last 20 minutes (at least), because who can get off the thing?


There used to be a phenomenon called the comparison trap when I was early in my mothering - 9 years ago now.  It was dangerous, they said, to compare yourself to all the moms and families around you.  How often does God tell us not to covet your neighbor - not to wish you had what they have?  That was hard when I was surrounded by 10 moms.  On Facebook, I'm surrounded by hundreds.  Who can compete with that?!

Relationally, I'm a pretty quiet facebook person.  I don't post a lot about myself or my family.  I feel fake and weird about it a lot of times. I want people to know I'm real, but, I'm certainly not going to say - "Hey.  I yelled at my kids today and got in a fight with my husband.  Click "LIKE" if you did too.", although, I wonder what the response would be.   

I think there should be another "book" called Realitybook.  That's where people share who they really are and what is really happening - the good and the bad.  Now that's something I could get on board with, perhaps.  But, there's probably not much of a market for that.

What do you think?  Can you relate?