No Where Else To Go

"So Jesus said to them, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves.'.....

As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. So Jesus said to the twelve, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” Simon Peter answered Him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go?'" John 6



A dear friend of ours is dying today and none of it makes sense - the abruptness, the youth, the girls she will be leaving behind, the tragedy of what she has faced in the last few years alone, let alone combining it with this?!? No sense.

Eating Jesus' flesh, drinking His blood? An outrageous, incomprehensible statement from the One who knows all to a group who wishes they understood, even a little.

But when faced with the decision - accept or leave - His disciples stay. Peter stays. Because, truly, where else is there to go?

There is no gestalt of what it means. No true understanding behind what Jesus is saying for the disciples, but they continue to wait with and watch Him, hoping that at some point it will all make sense, and knowing there is NO where else to go.

Looking head on at the tragedy of our friend's passing, the incomprehensibility it presents and the pain involved, we face a similar choice. Accept and wait and watch for Him or walk away.

Her daughters choose to believe. Choose to wait and hope that somewhere in the beyond His plan will become clearer. Choose to enter in the hurt with Him because there is no where else to go.

Even in this confusion He makes the most sense, He offers the greatest hope and He carries the pain alongside.

There is no where else to go.

Short Term Tunnel Vision

Here's how I operate.....

If it isn't happening in 2 months, it isn't happening. EVER.

About a month ago my husband and I started talking about going to Haiti with Help End Local Poverty. We were able to speak with Chris (from HELP) on the phone the a couple days ago and while we had considered going on a trip with them in June, it became clear that their February trip was more appropriate for us because they were going to be vision casting for fighting human trafficking in Haiti. RIGHT up my alley!

I thought it might work. Husband was scheduled to work, but only 4 days so we thought it wouldn't be terribly difficult to switch. I was sure I could find child care.

Nope. None of that happened. And the more we tried, the more complicated it seemed to get.

So we're not going.

And that means everything else is on hold.

We wanted to go to Haiti as we consider adoption - to see if there is a need for adoption and if Haiti is a country we could see ourselves investing in and spending a significant amount of time in because of our child.

But now there isn't anything on the radar and I don't know what is going to happen.

So, I'm back to radical waiting.