Not Going To Make It

A few months ago I told you about all the changes happening in Haiti in regard to adoption.  And how it seemed like we were on a deadline.

Well, IBESR did open back up on August 15.  At the time they opened they said they would be open for 1 month and then close again.  September 15 became our new deadline.

It seemed possible that we could make that deadline.  Little Guy's dossier was almost done.  Ours just had to go to the consulate and be mailed to Haiti for first legalization, whatever that is.

It's been 2 weeks and our dossier hasn't reached Haiti yet, which means we aren't going to make it.  What does that mean?  There are a lot of potentials, but we don't really know yet.

The government of Haiti says they will close on September 15 and re-open on October 1, implementing new laws.  Supposedly they are only going to work with certain agencies, raise their fees and change some of the laws about the adoption process, including only allowing adoption of children over the age of 1 and not allowing the birth and adoptive parents to interact with one another.  But we have to wait and see.  Please pray with us as we wait.  Waiting for something like this is so hard.

Our prayer requests.....

1. For Little Guy to be safe and healthy.
2. For our dossier to get to Haiti quickly and safely.
3. For Haiti to accept our agency on it's list of agencies to work with.
4. For our dossier to get into IBESR quickly.

That's a pretty good start.  :) Thank you, friends.

He Was There

Remember how I said that I couldn't pray for a little boy to get to one of the orphanages so we could adopt him?

And remember how it was going to be another 2-10 months, minimum, before we would receive our referral?

That was all wrong.

:)

Our little boy was there the entire time.

Little Boy (what we're going to call him here) was there all the time.

A lot of changes have been happening in Haiti and after the last "announcement" of changes we received a phone call from our agency on a Tuesday.  Never happened before.  We haven't gotten a phone call from them yet and the person we've been working with doesn't work on Tuesdays.

So when I got a phone call saying, "Karyn, call me back.  I need you to call me back today" on a TUESDAY, I was sure it was over for us.

Instead what I heard was, "I think we have a little boy for you."

Husband and I listened on speakerphone as we learned about 1 minute of information about a little guy who one day could become our son.  And we received a handful of pictures.

That's the information you receive when you get your referral, or child match.  And you need to decide.

This decision felt easy for us.  A couple of months ago we were told about 2 little guys that had significant medical needs and a set of siblings.  We prayed and thought and cried and prayed some more, but there just wasn't any peace with any of those children, as horrible as that sounds, and as horrible as it is even for me to type.

We didn't feel like God had called us to any of those children. 

But, we feel He's calling us to this one.

This could still fall apart for many different reasons.  Some of those reasons I know right now.  Some of them I'll learn in the future.  Some I may never know.  It's scary.

But, I have to trust that God did indeed give us the right referral at the right time and I'm going to trust that He will get us through if it doesn't work out, for any reason.

Right now we are joyful.  We have a picture to look at and a name to pray for and an orphanage to focus on.  We have specific prayers we can pray for his health and safety, that will apply whether or not he ever gets here.  We have someone to look forward to meeting.  And that is wonderful.

"He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’" (Acts 17).

Beyond Dimly

It's funny.  I haven't written in almost two months, but when I opened this blog up, the last post I wrote about was seeing things dimly.  I'm still feeling that way, although now I can see back, even dimly, to the potential purpose of what was behind this summer.

This has  been one of the hardest times in our marriage - this summer.  It has seemed like every single issue we have had for the past 11 years has come right to the forefront.  Not because we were looking for it or because those same issues came up again, but it sincerely felt like God was dragging them up out of no where, handing them to us and saying, "Here.  Work on this.  I want it gone."

What has bothered me about all of this is the why.  Why is this coming up now?  Why do we have to hurt over this again?  Why can't we just be happy right now?  I thought things were okay.

But, God needed Husband and I to get to a place we weren't prepared for and He did that by weeding out that which would have only entangled us in the last few weeks.

I'm grateful for that, but I'm not exactly excited to go through it again.  Because I know it will happen again.  There is always something that needs weeded out of my life.  I truly see my sin always before me lately and I have a feeling that isn't going to stop - mostly because I keep asking Him to help me know what He wants in my life.  And I think He'll keep answering.

I feel as though your prayers in our lives are so needed right now.  I feel vulnerable to what might come next and scared that I won't be able to handle it.

At the same time, I'm thankful to know that He is there.  He is present and He gives me what I need exactly when I need it.  I know He is faithful, even when I doubt Him, even when things are hard.  And I'm grateful.