Already All I Need

Music speaks to my heart so strongly in ways that regular words can not.  The reason I love the song, Already All I Need is because it is a strong reminder of Who He is.  That He is consistent - He is the same - no matter where I am and what is happening around me.  I need that reminder so strongly when life is uncomfortable.


Enjoy these words tonight, dear one.  He is already all we need.




Already All I Need

Asking where  

Asking where You are, Lord. 

Wondering where You’ve been. 

Is like standing in a hurricane, trying to find the wind. 

And hoping for Your mercy to meet me where I am. 

Is forgetting that Your thoughts for me, outnumber the sand. 

You filled the sun with morning light. 

You bid the moon to lead the night. 

You clothe the lilies bright and beautiful.
You’re already all I need. 

Already everything that I could hope for.
You’re already all I need. 

You’ve already set me free. 

Already making me. 

More like You. 

You’re already all I need. 

Jesus, You’re already all I need. 

Walking through this life without Your freedom in my heart. 

Is like holding onto shackles that You have torn apart. 

So remind me of Your promises. And all that You have done. 

In this world I will have trouble.  But You have overcome. 

And every gift that I receive.  You determine just for me. 

But nothing I desire compares with You. 

In Your fullness.  You’re my all in all. 

In Your healing. I’m forever made whole.

In Your freedom. Your love overflows.  And carries me. You carry me.

In the World, Not Of It

Credit

When we purchased our house a couple of years ago, we knew it needed a lot of work done to it.  It is a beautiful home - just not finished.  Our house has a history of people moving in and out of it quickly.  And so, it wasn't ever completely done.

The house was mostly lacking curb appeal.
 
Last year we began the process of finishing the outside of our home.  Fixing the porch, beefing up the molding, warping pillars, fixing the steps.  This year our plan was to put trim around the windows.

We have a guy, who we love, who has done our construction projects with us.  He is phenomenal.  Said guy invited us to meet with a designer to show us how our house would look with the next step completed, prior to purchasing the materials and beginning the next phase.  Husband and I welcomed the opportunity because neither of us have what artists and designers have - a creative, intuitive, designing eye.

As we met with artist man today, he showed us all these beautiful sketches and designs of what our house could look like.  And then he said this,

"You know, if you just put $30,000 into this house, it would look phenomenal."

I looked at Husband, and he looked back, knowingly.

$30,000.  The estimate of how much it is going to cost us to adopt from Haiti.

You know, I WANT to make my house be as beautiful as it can be.  I want it to have the curb appeal that last year I longed for.  I want to do the easy, comfortable thing.

Now, don't get me wrong - $30,000 is not the easy thing.  Like most people, we don't have $30,000 floating around waiting to be spent.  But, putting money into a project that I can see develop with my eyes, that will make me, my family, look perfect and like we have it all together is something I really want.

It doesn't require waiting for bunches of people to tell me I'm fit to parent.  It doesn't require someone in another country to tell me its okay to adopt one of their children.  It doesn't require seeing a precious face on my desktop that I long to bring home but can't.   Its so much easier.

We committed to finish the next phase of our project.  We will work on it bits at a time as we feel like it fits into our budget.  There's a juggling act to being in the world but not being of it.  There's nothing wrong with adding curb appeal to my home, I don't think.  That's part of being in our culture.  But longing for that is being of our culture.

I hope my longing keeps moving in the direction of the world that is not here.  That lesson, I believe, is the first gift from our waiting child to us.

What to Expect When You're Adopting From Haiti - Compiling the Dossier

We are on step 6 of adopting from Haiti!  Here are the steps we've completed so far:

1. Decide to adopt - 6 months
2. Decide to adopt from Haiti - 1 month
3. Choose an agency to work with - 2 days
4. Apply to an agency and be accepted - 5 days
5. Send in agency fee - 3 days
6. Compile dossier - 

We are in the throws of compiling our life and what everyone thinks of us on paper, which also needs to be notarized and certified and authenticated (in some states) before it is translated, sealed and delivered to Haiti.  Yikes.  My 1 1/2 inch pretty binder is not going to be big enough.

But I'm in my element in this.  I love organizing and doing paperwork.  (I know that seems crazy to a lot of people!)  I have found my niche here, people!  :)

What to Expect with This Step

1. Paperwork - and lots of it.  Birth/marriage certificates, autobiographies, references, clearances, etc. all need to be compiled.
2. Exams from several different professionals saying we are fit to parent.
3. Getting to know a notary very well.  Our notary is about to be my new best friend.
4. For this step to take approximately 2-6 months to complete. 

The Risks Of This Step

1. Haiti is not a Hague Accredited country.  In short, the Hague Convention (and resulting treaty) asserts regulations to limit child trafficking as much as possible.  They enforce laws in regard to adoption that are tight and require a lot of leg work - this is all very good.  Haiti desires to be a Hague country and the governing body there has signed the treaty but not yet ratified it.  What that means is the second they decide to ratify, all new dossier acceptances stop until the ratification process is complete - which took the United States, a first world country, 15 years to complete.  Our dossier can't reach Haiti until August when I turn 35 (one of the requirements of adopting from Haiti).  So, we need this treaty to not be ratified until after our dossier is well into the governing body of Haiti (IBESR).
2. We just heard today that Haiti is not accepting new dossiers until June 1.  I'm praying this won't mean that they are stopping from accepting dossiers all together.
3. The home study.  I'm not sure what constitutes failing a home study, but a licensed agency in Pennsylvania needs to say we are fit to parent and our home and environment are fit to parent in.  If we don't pass this step, we're out.

 Now that I've brought you all this information and joy, here's the relational part.

I'm scared.  I've always been a fearful person.  I saw yesterday in a very simple matter how I am so very much like a child.  If I don't get my way, I am UPSET.  I mean, temper tantrum upset.  It really isn't pretty at all in my head.  I automatically question God's love for me as soon as I'm not getting my way about something - and I do it in anger!

In my life, fear typically presents itself in anger.  When someone scares me in jest my first reaction is to hit them.  It's like a powerful, emotive response.  I'm scared --> I'm angry.

So, when I believe something is out of my control and that God doesn't have my back, I get scared and automatically revert to anger.

I know how I'm going to feel if this falls apart.  I'm going to be scared that I've failed from this calling somehow.  That I've done something to Him and that He is disappointed in me.  And then I'll get angry.  I've seen it before in my life and I'm not excited to see it again.

I know getting my own way all the time is not good for me, just as it is not good for my children.  I know, also, that if this does not work out, He will have something else for me, for us.  At least, I pray He does. 

I have so much to learn and I'm thankful that this process is going to be one of those ways to learn those things.

Thank you for your prayers and support, friends.  We have been so joyfully surprised at the wonderful comments and encouragements we have received from you since our announcement.  We're so grateful!

Love,
Karyn

Our Announcement

It is time!

After months of prayer, consideration, talking, crying and experiencing life in light of "the decision", Husband and I have decided to adopt - from Haiti.

And so begins the process of waiting for our little one to come home.  We're excited, scared, tentative, happy, emotional and nervous all at the same time.

If you think of us, we'd appreciate your prayers.  We keep hearing how surprising, scary, unpredictable and wonderful this process is.  Prayers that His peace would envelop us as our journey unfolds, that His will would be done and that the child He has chosen for our family would find us somehow would be so appreciated.  Thank you, dear ones.