I used to be you. When I heard that someone had skin cancer, my first and only thought was, "Psh. No big deal. Cut it off. It's gone. You're done."
About 95% of the people who find out I have now had melanoma and who know that I had a procedure to remove it, have said to me, "Well, I'm glad that's over."
What they don't realize is that it is not over. At all.
It happens so quickly. You see something that strikes you as odd. That's it, maybe. (I actually thought mine was the beginning of a pimple. It did NOT look like the normal melanoma pictures you see.) You wait. You finally go get it checked. The spot is biopsied.
But then, a week later you learn it is malignant melanoma and you start to talk about it and people say, "Oh, it's skin cancer. My ..... had skin cancer, but now they're fine."
But did they have melanoma? The kind of cancer that grows and spreads through your body like wildfire if given the chance and is fatal when not caught in time? Not basal cell, not squamous cell. Melanoma. It is different. It is crazy deadly. Quick fact:
- The vast majority of skin cancers are basal cell carcinomas and squamous cell carcinomas. While malignant, these are unlikely to spread to other parts of the body. They may be locally disfiguring if not treated early. A small but significant number of skin cancers are malignant melanomas. Malignant melanoma is a highly aggressive cancer that tends to spread to other parts of the body. These cancers may be fatal if not treated early. *
For me, this skin cancer resulted in 2 biopsies, a wide excision procedure with a 3 inch scar to prove it, 2 full body dermatological exams and a scheduled visit to the oncologist for consultation. And that was just in the first 30 days.
When I went to the surgeon yesterday I learned that my 5-10 year survival rate is 90-95% for "this melanoma site". I asked her why she had to chop more of my arm off given that the last margins were clear. She informed me they do this procedure in case any of the cells from the invasive, Stage 1 melanoma broke off and traveled to any of the lymphatics. There is a 5-10% chance that they have done that and will metastasize to somewhere else in my body. And you're right, those aren't really high odds.
In my head, though, that was only for this one area. My chance of developing a second melanoma (or second primary site, as they call it) is high. I have all the indicators - about a million freckles, several of them bigger than 1/4" in diameter - and 8 of which they are watching after my last exam (3 on my face), absolutely more than 5 sun burns and probably 40 trips to the tanning bed before I was 18. (Tanning alone increases your risk by 75%!) Oh yeah, and that first melanoma site increases my odds some more.
So, for the next 5 years, I will be seen every 3 months by a dermatologist who will look over every inch of my body to see if there are new spots, to see if any of the regular ones have changed.
From now on, I will need to keep an eye out to see if any new spots are developing or changing.
I will be sporting a 3 inch long scar on my left arm from a 4mm spot.
And I will wait.
I feel like a ticking time bomb. I have no idea if something more is somewhere that I have missed. (The doctor missed the first one.) I have no idea if I do miss something, how fast it will grow or when it will be found and if it will be taken care of in time. You see, with melanoma, you are never officially in regression. You are considered "no evidence of disease." Not exactly final.
Hearing your 10 year old say, "Mom, since you got cancer......." does not feel good. And peering into your own arm, looking at your own real live muscle (right there!), is a huge reality check. This is not just skin cancer. Treatment hurts. It is scary.
All of this is not to communicate that I am without hope. I have hope no matter the direction this journey takes me. And my odds of this melanoma recurring are low. And I am grateful. It could have been so much worse.
This is to say that melanoma is real cancer. Please, if you know someone who has melanoma, no matter the stage, call them when they have procedures, text them, send them a note, ask when their next appointment is, maybe even write it down to remember to check on them. I'm not saying to remember everything. Just remember something. Very few people will treat it as significant. After my surgery yesterday I had 1 person check on me. And I felt very alone.
Treat melanoma like it is real. Simply because it is. The support you'll provide will be immeasurable.
