In the World, Not Of It

Credit

When we purchased our house a couple of years ago, we knew it needed a lot of work done to it.  It is a beautiful home - just not finished.  Our house has a history of people moving in and out of it quickly.  And so, it wasn't ever completely done.

The house was mostly lacking curb appeal.
 
Last year we began the process of finishing the outside of our home.  Fixing the porch, beefing up the molding, warping pillars, fixing the steps.  This year our plan was to put trim around the windows.

We have a guy, who we love, who has done our construction projects with us.  He is phenomenal.  Said guy invited us to meet with a designer to show us how our house would look with the next step completed, prior to purchasing the materials and beginning the next phase.  Husband and I welcomed the opportunity because neither of us have what artists and designers have - a creative, intuitive, designing eye.

As we met with artist man today, he showed us all these beautiful sketches and designs of what our house could look like.  And then he said this,

"You know, if you just put $30,000 into this house, it would look phenomenal."

I looked at Husband, and he looked back, knowingly.

$30,000.  The estimate of how much it is going to cost us to adopt from Haiti.

You know, I WANT to make my house be as beautiful as it can be.  I want it to have the curb appeal that last year I longed for.  I want to do the easy, comfortable thing.

Now, don't get me wrong - $30,000 is not the easy thing.  Like most people, we don't have $30,000 floating around waiting to be spent.  But, putting money into a project that I can see develop with my eyes, that will make me, my family, look perfect and like we have it all together is something I really want.

It doesn't require waiting for bunches of people to tell me I'm fit to parent.  It doesn't require someone in another country to tell me its okay to adopt one of their children.  It doesn't require seeing a precious face on my desktop that I long to bring home but can't.   Its so much easier.

We committed to finish the next phase of our project.  We will work on it bits at a time as we feel like it fits into our budget.  There's a juggling act to being in the world but not being of it.  There's nothing wrong with adding curb appeal to my home, I don't think.  That's part of being in our culture.  But longing for that is being of our culture.

I hope my longing keeps moving in the direction of the world that is not here.  That lesson, I believe, is the first gift from our waiting child to us.