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Sunday, September 27, 2015

I'm at the end of my rope with Little Guy.  The triggers he experiences are daily.  Being told no, being hungry, being tired, having people come and go from the house (because we do things outside our home), are all natural things that happen on a daily basis.  And, in response to his triggers, he gets aggressive.  He yells, hits, scratches, throws things, etc.  All of those things are triggers from my past and I respond with defensiveness and pushing away and the cycle continues.

There are times I am able to therapeutically parent him, which means pulling him in no matter what.  But, those times are becoming fewer and further between.  The hurt is just becoming too great.  The reminders of the past too much, too often.  And I can't keep walking into it anymore.

I am not parenting this child well.  I am not able to rise above his personal assaults anymore.  I can't not take them personally.

I am beyond discouraged and truly don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the strength is all gone.